This is my contribution to this week’s Creative Challenge, a weekly feature on crimsonprose’s blog. Initially 100 words too long, it took some whittling to get it down to 150 words. I’ll call my story…
The Abduction
Reice approached the building cautiously. Was she too late? Collin had sounded so broken…coming here to think, he’d said…maybe end it all. What tragedy had brought her usually upbeat friend so low?
She had to find him. Hearing sounds, she started toward the door. Now he was calling her, but something stopped her. Reice despised this paralyzing fear!
Suddenly several guys rushed from the building. Before she could react they’d grabbed her and tied her hands and feet. “Collin,” she screamed.
He stepped forward. “I knew you’d come,” he sneered. “Sucker for a sob story. Now you’re going with these chaps and…”
“No, she’s not.” They all turned toward the voice and several policemen emerged from the woods. “Anyone who moves will be shot.”
“Grandpa!” Reice gasped.
“Your Mom overheard the conversation, Reice. She didn’t trust this guy.”
Collin’s pals scowled at him. “A copper’s granddaughter. Great move!”
Christine's Collection 
Always grateful for a happy ending.
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My first thought was to leave it hanging, but I do prefer the timely rescue. In reality there are too few. Thanks for your comment. 🙂
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Well done, Christine! You had me all wound up with worry then release at the end
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Glad you enjoyed my ending. I was going to build up my tale to the peak of suspense and then conveniently run out of words. This took a lot more work. 😉
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Haha! Love it!
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A double-double-cross! Brilliant 🙂
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Thanks for your comment and glad you liked it.
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Yeah, Collin, you mad fool. Not a great planner. I’m glad the way it turned out, though!
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The gang fired Collin right after the arrests.
Thanks for your comments. I couldn’t bear to see her hauled off to a horrible fate, which is probably why I’ll never write a bestseller. 🙂
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A story excellently crafted, and I note it is indeed a story with a clear three acts. Well done.
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Thank you. It did take work to flesh it out in 150 words. I usually find eliminating the last ten extra words is agonizing. 🙂
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I believe that’s something we all have problems with. Either over or under writing.
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Collins reign of terror didn’t last long, thankfully! Nice one.
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That’s one possibility. Another is that he found a lure that worked before in other places, but this time he happened to target the child of a diligent mother — with the right connections.
In reality Collin would have to disappear, too, or he might become a suspect. But I could only include so much backstory in 150 words.
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