An Old Joke, Slightly Enhanced

The DISCOVER writing prompt for today is JOKE, so I’m retelling an old joke for you.

When Jane’s husband came into the house one afternoon, she grabbed his arm in a tight squeeze. “I think we’d better do some serious talking, Pat,” she told him, dabbing at a tear. “I’ve just talked to the doctor and I get the impression I may not be with you much longer.”

Pat was stunned. He knew Jane had just been to the doctor a few days before and had a test done. “Is this about your test results? What did he tell you?”

“No, this is about the prescription he gave me. He definitely told me I’d need to take these pills for the rest of my life. But when I looked at the bottle I saw he’d given me a thirty-day supply — and it says NO REFILLS!”

Pat gasped. “It can’t be.”

“I had to know the truth, so I called and asked if I really have only a month left in this old world.”

“And what did he say,” Pat asked anxiously.

Jane grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “He laughed.”

“Laughed! You’re dying and he laughs about it? Did he give any explanation?”

“I was so disturbed just I hung up. I was knocked for a loop for a minute, but then I decided to call the florist and order a $200 bouquet to cheer me up. And then I thought, why not live a bit while I’m still here, so I called Splash Pools and Saunas and ordered us a hot tub. Then I made an appointment for us to go on an airplane ride next week. I’ve always dreamed of doing that.”

Poor Pat almost fell over. Just then the phone rang. Pat answered and listened a moment. “I see. Yes, I see.” He heaved a sigh of relief. “Well, thank you doctor. We were so worried for a bit there. I’m glad to hear it’s all a misunderstanding.”

He paused and whispered to Jane. “Doctor says you’re good for twenty years yet. There’s no need to panic; you can get all the refills you need.”

Then he spoke to the doctor again, “Thanks so much for calling. This will set Jane’s mind at rest. However, I’m afraid my wallet just had a heart attack.”

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