Fandango’s One-Word Challenge for today is REPLACE
The Daily Spur word prompt yesterday was EDITOR
The Ragtag Daily Prompt today was WOODSY
Fandango had an interesting story as his response to these prompts, the furious reaction of a writer who’s sent his manuscript off to an editor and it comes back thoroughly red-penned. He calls the editor, irate about all the marking and even replacing of sections. So I’ll credit Fandango for my tale. His story got me thinking down this line. I do feel a bit of sympathy for that editor, though he overstepped his role.
One day, after reading a story by a multi-published author, I asked my eight-year-old grandson, “How can a person fall off a train and land in front of the train? And furthermore, land far enough in front of the train that the train can stop in time to not run over the person’s body?”
He thought for a moment and said, “It would work if the train’s going backwards and the person fell off the engine.”
A certain writer should engage my grandson as technical advisor.
A Unique Editorial Encounter
I was wandering my way through an Ontario woodland path one morning, taking in the sound of birds, the woodsy smell of the trees and earth, listening to the wind fluttering the leaves, when I came upon a penguin weaving its (its – not it’s) way among the trees.
“What on earth! Oh, I’m losing it,” I exclaimed. “Penguin! What are you doing in these woods?”
“I don’t usually do woods,” the creature replied. “I seem to have gotten lost.”
“Big time. You’re over half a planet from home.”
“Can you tell me the way to Puddleville?”
“Puddleville? I can, but what do you want to do there?”
“A writer who lives in Puddleville wants a penguin for her story; she ordered me from e-Bay. She’s writing something about Hudson Bay and she wants me to do a guest appearance in her story.”
“But there are no penguins in Hudson Bay. Ever,” I protested. “Never have been.”
“You’ll have to take that up with the writer. I’m just one of the cast. I’ve supposedly stowed away on a fishing boat going into Hudson Bay. Now I’m to fall off the boat and flail around in the bay so her brave main character can save me from drowning in the frigid water.”
“Save you from drowning? But you’re a penguin – you can swim. And as far as frigid waters go, the water in Hudson Bay is a lot warmer than the Antarctic.”
“Say, you really like to find fault! What are you, an editor? What have you got against an exciting sea rescue? She’s writing it in a very dramatic style readers will love.”
“I like my drama to be realistic, even in fiction. A lot of readers do, you know. She should have at least hired a seal.”
“But I’m way more interesting than a seal any day.” He took a moment to preen a bit. “Anyway, I’m just going to do what I’m told, then grab the bucket of fish she’s offering as payment, and head south.”
“I think this whole story is going to head south. What’s the name of her book so I don’t spend good money on it.”
“She’s calling it Igor’s Alaskan Adventure. I’m Igor. “
I shook my head. “Why am I not surprised? Anyway, how be you follow me home, then I’ll drive you to Puddleville in my car. You’re never going to get there hobbling through the woods like this. I might even have a word with this writer about geography. Alaskan Adventure indeed!”
“You’d better watch out. Writers don’t always react well to some ‘slash and burn’ editor type finding holes in their plots.”
“You’re probably right.” I sighed. “Well, come on, Igor. Your adventure awaits.”
F Richter & S Hermann at Pixabay
Christine's Collection 
You did an excellent job (in a very witty way) of demonstrating the value a good editor can offer to a writer.
And I wasn’t knocking editors in my post. I was merely trying to fit in a bunch of prompts into a story about a possible exchange between a writer and an editor. All in good natured fun. Well, maybe not for someone who is an editor. 😉
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Glad you enjoyed my little tale. I took your story as fun. Actually those two were well matched as far as abrasive goes. 🙂
Some of the comments sounded a bit down on editors, I thought, but maybe they were responding fictitiously, too.
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My “like” button isn’t working.
And I seriously like this! Maybe I have writer’s block right now because I’m dreading the editors. I’m sure there will be slash and burn tactics, and I don’t look forward to rewrites. That’s all assuming, of course, that anyone is interested in my manuscript!
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Glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. 🙂
Since you’re familiar with snowy lands, you can imagine how my grandchildren and I chuckled over a story scene set in Alaska, where the snowstorm got so bad, and the snow so deep, the plows couldn’t keep the roads open. So the characters set off across the fields where the going would be easier. Good drama, but…
Wish you luck with your book. I’ve had some conversations with Susan at Adirondack Editing in upstate NY. I’m hoping she’ll do right by me — if I ever get my book that far. 🙂
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Right. Setting off across the fields would be disastrous. You’d quickly lose your sense of direction, and freeze your little tootsies 🙂
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Not to mention that if the snow is that deep on the roads that have already been plowed a time or two, it’s going to be even deeper in the fields.
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Yup. And very poor visibility.
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