There’s an old saying that “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Leave well enough alone.
But what if it’s only a little broke? Still works, sort of? There are folks who fix the leaky faucet before it becomes a flood under the sink. Fix that oil leak in the car before the motor seizes up. If you ask, “Why worry about it when the problem’s so small,” they’ll tell you, “Procrastination only leads to disaster.”
And there are those of us who tend to hobble along with things as they are, hoping for a miracle, until the thing breaks down totally and becomes a real nuisance. When the drain pipe is totally clogged and the sink overflows, it’s time for action. When the tire’s almost flat, it’s time to have the leak repaired. There are those who go to a doctor while the problem is still small, while others have a health issue they hope will resolve itself. When they can hardly drag themselves out of bed in the morning it’s time to see the doctor.
A friend of my folks, a prairie farmer of Scottish birth, was fearful about the odd bulge developing on his hip. He ignored it and carried on, half fearing that if he saw a doctor, he’d hear the dreaded C word. Finally it became so big that he did visit the doctor, who sent him straight to the hospital. “That bulge is an aneurysm! It could burst any moment and you’d be dead in minutes.”
Sadly, we procrastinators are apt do this with relationships too. It’s risky to ask exactly what he/she meant by that comment. They might tells us exactly what they think of our behaviour and their words will likely be painful. So we tell ourselves, “Just let it go.” Yet the comment digs into us and festers. Usually more verbal exchanges happen and finally we’re pussyfooting around each other. The times we brave it and talk the thing over, we find it was only one point they objected to, not our whole personality. Or we completely misunderstood their remark. I can recall times when I’ve said something just as a joke, thinking the other person would get it, only to find out later from a third party that they took my comment seriously and were quite upset with me.
What led to my musing this morning is my issue with WordPress. WP isn’t working 100% for me, but it still functions well most of the time. At times, though, the program won’t recognize my e-mail address so I have to give my username and log in anew. Especially for some blogs, while others I can leave Likes and comments no problem. So I just carry on and hope the problem will disappear. Will it, do you think?
Developers with their many “improvements” have made life so complicated for us simple minds! Sometimes I gripe that if the engineers at WordPress didn’t fix things that were working just fine, blogging would be simpler. However, I realize they were trying to accommodate a wide range of bloggers with other interests than mine, so I’ll hush it. I’m still very grateful to have this platform where I can ramble to my heart’s content. 🙂
Christine's Collection 
I hear your pain. I’ve used the “quote” option many times with no problem, but today, it just went bonkers. I spent WAY too much time trying to fix it, to no avail. Grrrrrrrrr!
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Oh, those wrenches in the gears! Thanks for your sympathy.
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Do you mean WordPress? or WordPerfect?
Sometimes it’s not worth communicating to our “friends” what they have done to alienate us because, if they cared, they wouldn’t have done it as in the artist “friend” about whom I wrote the article. I have a friend who will confront me over anything he thinks I said when 1) he’s mistaken, 2) he misunderstood. I think inter-human communication is often hopeless.
As for health? I had a heart scan thing because my mom had clogged arteries. I learned that I also have clogged arteries, but not seriously at this point. Still it meant I KNEW and the doc was able to adjust my meds to keep it from getting worse.
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Thanks for your comment. I shall correct that! I mean WordPress, but I often confuse the two. Part of my diabetes treatment is a pill for lowering cholesterol. Hopefully will prevent clogged arteries. I hope your meds are effective, too.
As to friends saying/doing things to alienate us, some comments have a barb. Yet we’ve all been guilty of being silly or spouting off. At times not meaning to cause pain, but unthinking, or unaware of a particular situation, we comment glibly. Or we’re ticked off by what this person said/did and give them a sharp retort. Not condemning the whole person, but this one thing.
My Dad Forsyth could never “talk it out” and for sure never apologize. He could spout his opinions, even rude or cruel ones, but if someone responded with a sharp word, he walked away. Sometimes forever, which abruptly ended many friendships. If it was family, he stayed away for months.
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I very very seldom say anything sharp or mean to anyone. It’s just not me, so when someone does it I think, “OK, you get some chances, but…” When I realize that’s just who a person IS? I’m out the door.
Meanness is a way of manipulating and controlling people AND it’s also a strategy for people to push people away when they have had all the interpersonal contact they can stand — in which case it’s a symptom of a lack of self-awareness and a very strong ego. I don’t see walking away as condemning anyone, just self-preservation. My mom was mean and manipulative like this and I was stuck with her. I’m not stuck any more. Sounds a bit like your dad Forsyth.
I don’t think it’s always worth “talking it out.” The responses, “You’re too sensitive.” “I never said that.” “Well, YOU did xyz.” I don’t want that conversation. Apologies? I’m very happy to apologize. Many people are as reluctant to apologize as they are to say “I don’t know” or admit they did/said something. No.
I don’t think there’s a one size fits all for this — I had to talk it out with my neighbor when she offered me a job painting her fence and then, without talking to me, someone else did it. There was a very good reason for the whole thing EXCEPT her not talking to me. She was truly sorry and said so. I told I didn’t care about the job, but her not talking to me was hurtful. But I know her and she’s very very shy and fearful of confrontation. I also know her husband who gave the job to someone else. He’s a weirdo, cold and not very nice. So… It was fine and the confrontation (if you can call it that) made us better friends.
For me if the insult is material like that and can be talked over, I will do it.
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You’re right: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. If bringing up the subject just leads to the other person excusing themselves or blaming you for being “too sensitive,” the conversation’s going nowhere and best not pursued. Saying, “Ouch! That hurt,” may make them think when dealing with others, hopefully.
My Dad F was an unusual, unhappy man. He was about as prejudiced as they come, detested many people but rarely to the person’s face. He liked certain people very much, bosom buddies as it were, until that person said something he disagreed with. Then goodbye. Guess he couldn’t handle upfront confrontation or contradiction. For us his family, he was verbally & physically abusive — the same abuse he heard growing up. As with your mom, you have to learn to distance yourself emotionally from those words, attitudes — sometimes from the person altogether. As you say, self-preservation.
Thanks again for your comment.
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I’m guilty of having a wait-and-see attitude when it comes to things I really should look into, and the more I get away with it the more I carry on! As for WordPress, I have this image in my mind of a grinning boss taking delight in confusing us just for the fun of it!
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I don’t always get away with it.to misquote a cliche, “A stitch not made in time has caused me many more than nine.” 🙂
As to the powers-that-be at WP, who knows? Thanks for your comment, Keith.
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It depends on the what’s what, for me.
As for WP – they created crap to keep themselves busy. They definitely fixed what wasn’t broke and have pissed off way too many writers. I mean c’mon. Create the block but offer it as an OPTION. Do not force those who are not interested in more than writing with an image or two. They have made it a pain.
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Well, I found it simpler way back. But then I found ON/OFF switches so much easier, too — and the developers couldn’t leave those alone, could they?
A few days ago, in an exploring mood, our cat jumped on the printer and walked on the FAX keys. Good thing he “dialed” a not-in-service number! Took me several minutes to figure out how to get it to stop trying to call that number. You can’t just shut it off.
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I feel your pain!
As for the cat…I’m trying not to laugh but seriously….
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Reminds me of that story of the tot who was pushing buttons on the phone. When his mom came into the room he said, “I was calling Grandma and this lady said, “Aloha.” What does that mean?”
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Hahaha! Right!
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