Not My Fault

The Ragtag Daily Prompt this morning is APPARENT. Well, I’m feeling like doing something light today, and since I missed yesterday’s prompt, GAME, I’ll cover them both in this fictitious bit from a sports reporter.

TURFFORD FLUBS TODAY’S GAME

Attempting to distance himself from the blame for his lame game today, gofer Reuben Turfford suggests that his contact lenses were sabotaged by an opponent.

Turfford explained that several golfers were together at a party the night before and during the evening his eyes became sore, so he removed his contacts and set them on the table. He then headed for the gents’ room. “I’m certain that while I was out of the room, one of my opponents tampered with my lenses, warped them somehow,” he claims. “I was still rather bleary-eyed this morning and didn’t notice the difference in my lenses until I tried to hit the ball in today’s tournament. Otherwise I certainly would have won.”

When asked to comment on this issue, his closest opponent Mike Strikem denied the accusation. “Yes, we were all together last night,” he verifies, “But no one touched his contacts. I’m guessing it was his overindulgence at the party that caused his poor game today. At times it was quite apparent that Reuben’s judgement was bleary, not his eyesight.”

Since Turfford wisely tossed his warped lenses right after the game, this explanation remains unverified.

A Colorful Creature

The Ragtag Daily Prompt this morning is KOOKY. Well, here’s a kooky poem I wrote for the sheer fun of it — with a nod to Ogden Nash’s The Spangled Pandemonium, one of my favorite children’s poems.

The Fugitive

A creature glided through the dark,
he thought it quite the prank,
to break out from the zoo and hide
beside the riverbank.

But patches of its fur showed up
right through the foliage green.
As I passed by those colors roused
my curiosity.

I peered, and spied this creature,
odd-brindled blue and white
with dabs of green and violet.
It gave me such delight!

I couldn't recognize the thing;
my Google didn't help.
I tried to get a closer look
but it gave a fearful yelp!

Some keepers of the zoo ran up
and said, "Say, have you seen
our multi-mottled commingal
with fur white, blue and green?

I pointed to those bushes
that bulged suspiciously
and they set out to capture
their colorful escapee.
Image by Alexandra Koch — Pixabay

Cave Art

The Ragtag Daily Prompt this morning is CAVERN and here’s my response…

Virginia cave photo by adoborepublic — Pixabay

CAVE ART

“Come on,” Benji urged his sister as he led the way into the cave. “Don’t be scared. This place is really worth seeing!”

Debby looked around in awe. “This isn’t just a cave. This is a cavern!”

“Cave, cavern. What’s the difference? It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

Cavern sounds so much more exotic, extravagant. And this is definitely exotic.””

They flicked on their flashlights and made their way deeper into the cave — or cavern. Soon they came to a wall with a drawing on it.”

“And will you look at this,” Debby exclaimed. “Ancient art! I wonder what sort of prehistoric people wandered in here centuries ago and drew this.”

“Hmm…” Benji examined the art closely. “They must have been able to mix up some really good paint, that it’s lasted all these years. It looks a lot like an ordinary cat. Or what do you think it is?”

“You’re right, it does look like a cat. I wonder if those ancient people had domestic cats, or if it was some wild animal that’s extinct now.”

A voice behind them called out, “Hey, you kids. Be careful, there. Don’t mess with my artwork.”

Benji’s eyes popped wide open. “You painted this? It wasn’t some ancient artist?”

“Nope. I drew it last week. I decided this morning that I’d come back and see if it needed any finishing touches.”

“Why ever did you do that,” Debby asked. “Are you trying to fool people, or what?”

“And why shouldn’t I? Just think. This painting will make people curious for centuries to come. Who drew this here? What sort of animal is it? In fact it’s my cat Darkster, but in a couple hundred years no one will know that. People love mysteries — they always will.”

It must be true, because Benji and Debbie pondered the mystery of the odd artist and his cat every time they thought of the beautiful cavern.

Funny — Or Cruel?

One day the Daily Prompt asked what tricks someone could play on me that would truly scare me. It shouldn’t be hard, as I’m a timid sort and easily frightened. (My reason for avoiding heart-stopping suspense and horror stories.) But what pleasure would it give someone to know they’d terrified me? Is that not cruelty?

My mind goes back to something my husband’s distant cousin, another Bob, told his teenage son one day. “If you’re going to pull a prank, use your brain. Don’t do something stupid that you’re going to be embarrassed about later. Do something you’ll be proud of. Something unique or spectacular.”

He explained that when he was in his teens a group of guys had gotten together one night and dismantled some piece of equipment — or an old car? — and carried it piece by piece up to the top of a prominent building. There they’d reassembled it so that in the morning everyone passing by could see this bizarre object sitting on the roof. Now that was a novelty people chuckled over for a good while after.

My husband remembers that when he was a boy an old wagon appeared, through similar circumstances, on top to the town hall in Craik, SK one Nov 1st. Seeing it there gave local folks a chuckle, but no one was terrified or injured.

Though I’m not a fan of tricks, I believe Cousin Bob had a point. Some young folks think it’s fun to destroy things. Why? Does some anger in their own heart seek an outlet in being nasty to others? Often they choose the most helpless as their victims, someone who can’t retaliate. They don’t want to risk someone bigger and stronger catching up with them and punishing them for their misdeeds.

One young man talked of how his uncle would tickle him and his brothers when they were boys — and keep on until they were in tears and screaming. Uncle called it fun; his nephews called it a kind of torture and avoided him whenever they could. “Funny” that humiliates or hurts someone or some creature is a very perverted humor.

Air Traffic Control

Image by Orna Wachman — Pixabay
Negotiate the narrow aisle,
find Zone 5 Seat 21;
stow baggage in overhead bins,
take your seats, fasten belts
and become sardines
squashed in a can.
As engines roar to life
you all pray those bins...
and your bladders...
stay shut for the whole trip.