Scammers!

The phone rang yesterday morning. Since I was the only one home, I answered. The fellow at the other end — our call display showed Unknown Number — explained in a thick foreign accent that he was a VISA representative.

“There have been charges to your VISA account and I’m calling to verify that you did indeed make these purchases. The one was made at 3am this morning and the other at 6am.”

I was alarmed. “Well, we certainly never made them.”

“Did you give anyone access to your VISA card or make any purchases online with this number?”

“No.”

He went on to say more. I had a hard time understanding his speech but was beginning to catch the drift. Before he got the chance to ask for my VISA card number, I said, “Thank you for letting us know about this” and hung up.

I called my husband, who checked it out online and found no charges made to our account that morning.

Yesterday evening I received an e-mail from the manager of some financial institution in Israel, asking me to contact her ASAP on a very important matter. I wonder how many millions are waiting for me to claim over there. By the way, that ambassador from Indonesia hasn’t showed up yet with my millions in US foreign aid dollars.

For me it’s annoying, even humorous at times. Still, there are vulnerable people who get these calls and wouldn’t pick up on the clues that it’s a scam. Take care, everyone. It’s a tough old world for naive, trusting souls.

Scam Artists

cushion for old age
taken by an expert fleecer
poor sheep shiver

Looking on the Bright Side

“JUST BROKE”

by Edgar Guest

Nothing’s the matter with Me!
I can see,
I can hear, I can sing, I could climb
up a tree.
I am well, I can eat anything that’s about.
I can run, I can dance,
I can laugh, I can shout,
and I’m blamed if I’ll travel around here and croak
that I’m broke!

My arms are all right;
I can fight!
I can still romp around with the kiddies
at night!
I haven’t neuritis; I haven’t the ‘flu;
I still have a fairly good
foot in each shoe;
I am able to gather the point of a joke;
I’m just broke.

Nothing has happened to me
that I see!
My appetite’s good and I’m strong
as can be!
The wife hasn’t left me, the children are well.
Things are just as they were
when the stock market fell.
I can work, I can play, I can eat, I can smoke.
I’m just broke!

From the book, The Friendly Way
© 1931 by The Reilly & Lee Co.

At Last My Ship Comes In

WHAT A TERRIFIC BIRTHDAY PRESENT!

Someone in the United Nations Headquarters must have heard that my birthday is coming up shortly and they wish to celebrate with me. Or else they have discovered that I am the most trustworthy person on the planet. Only this morning I received this amazing notification that a treasure-laden ship is about to fly into my airport — and MY name is on it!

Here are some details from the e-mail so you can all rejoice with me in my good fortune:

Office of Director of Payment United Nations
United Nations Payment Office Jakarta, Indonesia

This is to inform you about our plan to send your fund to you via cash delivery. This system will be easier for you and for us. We are going to send your contract part payment of US 5.2 million to you via diplomatic courier service. This fund was brought to us from America. It was meant for our local AFEM market. …

Note: The money is coming in two security proof boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine. … The diplomat attached will travel with it. He will call you immediately he arrives your airport. …

I need your response because the boxes are schedule to leave as soon as you respond. Reply me immediately you receive this message. …

He wants me to send him some personal ID info so they can send the goods. I suppose they wouldn’t want to risk just anybody replying to this e-mail. The problem is that my dear husband has such a suspicious nature. He has never allowed me to send our banking info so I could claim all the millions of dollars and British pounds I’ve inherited at various times through the years.

Can you imagine the size of those boxes, each holding US 2.6 million in cash! I suppose it will all be in thousand-dollar bills? The US doesn’t put out million-dollar bills, do they? At any rate, I’d better call Brinks and arrange for one of their trucks to meet the plane.

One doesn’t wish to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I’m not too sure what we’re supposed to do with this diplomat. What if he has really expensive tastes, like caviar, fresh-caught squid and such like. But since this is the Canadian prairie, maybe he’ll want to try our buffalo steaks? Much more do-able. At any rate I don’t want to waste spend US $1 million just to entertain him.

One problem will be that our trailer is too small for hosting a real live diplomat — especially if he comes with an entourage. Still, he’ll likely want to drop in, get to know us a bit, so I’d best give the place a good cleaning. I’ve been wanting to anyway; this will give me a great incentive. And as soon as I hear when he’s arriving I’ll reserve him a room at the Bessborough Hotel — a famous historic Saskatoon landmark that’s housed diplomats before, even royalty.

I want to thank all of you, dear Yankee friends and followers, for your indirect contribution to my good fortune. You may wish to check into the normal disbursement of foreign aid dollars, but in this case, I assure you that the sum is going to a very worthy recipient. (Blush) Since there’s nothing in the letter to say what I should do with this money, I shall do my best to spend it prudently. 😉

Who Needs School

Luanna was finding her first year of school quite a problem. She didn’t like getting up so early to get ready and then sitting for twenty minutes on the school bus every day. In class she struggled to remember all those sticks and balls and which one said which sound, all the shapes of the numbers and how many circles to draw for each.

So much work! Why did she have to know all that when her Mom already did and was so good at reading stories to them? She liked colouring and recess, but really she’d far rather stay at home and play with her little brother.

One day she was at Grandma’s for a cookie-bake and tea party; as they sipped their tea she told Grandma all about it. “So you see, Grandma, school is too hard. I wish I didn’t have to go.”

Grandma tried to encourage her. “Try your best, Sweetie, ’cause someday you’ll be big and you’ll want to get a job and earn some money for yourself. Then you’ll need to know all these things.”

Luanna puzzled over that for a minute, then her little face lit up. “I know! I can just stay at home and get a pension like you and Grandpa.”

smile-421163_640

Found the perfect solution, Grandma.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Originally posted on my poetry blog, Swallow in the Wind.