Time for summer reruns? Anyway, I’ve pulled up and tweaked a short tale I posted three years ago as THE MULTI-TASKING DRIVER.
Where’s the Party?
The policeman eyed her critically. “Are you all right, lady?”
“Of course I’m okay, officer. Just…uh…a little distracted for a moment.”
“The way you were writhing around in your seat, I thought you were having a seizure. What exactly were you doing?”
The woman took a deep breath. “This is so embarrassing, but I’m on my way to work, you see, and I noticed this huge snag my hose. I can’t show up at the office like that, especially not today when we’re having the farewell party for our manager. So I was just trying to slide them off before I get there.”
“While driving?” The officer scowled at her. “May I see your driver’s license and registration, ma’am.”
She handed them over. He went to his cruiser, spent a few minutes on his radio and returned, saying, “I hear you had another driving infraction last month?”
“Quite a minor offense, really.”
“Yeah. Blowing up balloons while driving ten kilometers over the speed limit on a main street? Now that’s funny.”
“I’m so glad you’re so understanding, officer. They were for my grand-daughter’s birthday party and I was running late. Sometimes a person just has to multi-task. ”
He handed her a ticket. “This is for driving without due care and attention. Keep on multi-tasking behind the wheel like this and you’ll be attending another party: the one your family has for you at White Lily Funeral Home.”
Fellow blogger Biff has done another Whatnot Wednesday and invites other bloggers to respond by likewise posting a bit of misc trivia. Here’s my contribution. (To further reinforce my caution in this morning’s post about name-calling.)
A Belisha beacon, consists of a lamp with an amber globe sitting atop a tall black and white pole, marked pedestrian crossings in the United Kingdom and other countries historically influenced by Britain. The flashing light warns motorists to watch for pedestrians crossing.
It was named after Leslie Hore-Belisha, the Minister of Transport who in 1934 added beacons to pedestrian crossings. The first one became operational on July 4, 1935. These crossings were later painted in black and white stripes, and have become known as “zebra crossings.” Since then, Belisha beacons have been replaced by WALK signals for pedestrians.
Not long after Belisha beacons were set up in London the King and his Queen were enjoying a pleasant drive through the city in the royal limousine. They passed an intersection where one of these lights had been installed.
“Pull over,” King Edward instructed their chauffeur. “I want to test one of these crossings and see how well they actually work,” he told the Queen.
The chauffeur parked the car a short way down the street and the King got out. He walked back up the street to the crossing and about five minutes later he returned. As he climbed back into the car he was chuckling.
The Queen looked at him curiously and asked, “What’s so amusing?”
He grinned at her. “One of my loyal subjects just called me a doddering old fool.”
OFF WITH HIS HEAD! the red queen flexes her guillotine toady or kneel
As you can see, parking was tight in front of the Haggleburg General Store two days before Thanksgiving.
The reason for this was obvious to everyone who lived there. On the Monday before the holiday Geordie MacLellan, a poultry farmer west of town, would butcher his young turkeys. This gave local cooks time to choose their birds and get them in the oven for Thursday’s Thanksgiving meal. On Tuesday morning Geordie’s three teenage daughters came to town and set up a table beside the General Store. Here they would sell fresh young turkeys all morning.
Everyone knew Geordie’s birds were attractive, plump speciens with nicely toned flesh and exquisite drumsticks. In the heat they’d toast up to an appealing golden brown. The street by the store would be crowded as young bachelors from the surrounding area came to eye Georgie’s birds and dream of home- cooked feasts.
Of course they planned to do a little visiting with Geordie’s daughters, too, the girls being quite attractive in their own way. Seasoned cooks sorting through the poultry would wink at each other as some young blade let it be known, in forlorn tones, that he had no plans for a Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone knew the girls were allowed to invite guests — but no more than a dozen! — for the day.
The MacLellan girls were reputed to be as good cooks as their mother. And the MacLellan men liked to eat. An invitation to join Geordie’s family for a holiday meal was the ticket to a day in gourmet glory. Young men made sure they got to town very early that day to do their shopping.
So now you know, too, why parking spaces were hard to find on Main Street in Haggleburg on the Tuesday morning before Thanksgiving.